To Think I Used To Love You
by becky207
Summary: House/Cameron songfic. After destroying the best thing in his life, how does House feel, and what will he do next......


A/N: I'm a big House/Cameron shipper but I heard this song and it fit so perfectly I couldn't help myself

Song: To Think I Used To Love You – Uncle Cracker - Sweet Home Alabama

Sitting in the living room of his town house radio playing softly in the background, scotch in hand House couldn't help but think about what he had just destroyed not 30 minutes ago. And even though she was long gone he could still smell her perfume lingering in the air like a ghost haunting him, as his own words were haunting him and echoing in his brain, all he said, all he done before didn't even compare to what he had done now and he knew with a heavy sinking feeling in his heart that there was no going back from this and there was no way she would forgive him.

Tipping back the glass and emptying its contents, feeling it burn on the way down he heard the opening strains of a song from her favorite movie, and as the lyrics sunk in to his mind he thought of how appropriate they were for this moment

**You made me laugh some****  
****You made me cry some too  
You sent me off into a world of pain  
And made me someone new**

She had made him want to be better just for her and no one else, cause no one else made him feel the way she did

**  
****You made all kinds of promises  
But only some came true  
Now I know you need me more than I need you  
**

He almost chuckled to himself at that line, turns out she really didn't need him, turns out she could live without him. It was him that needed her that wanted her to be there and he was the one that made and broke the promises.

**  
****To think I used to ****love you****  
For reasons I don't know  
You polished up my halo  
And I dirtied up your soul**

He did know why he loved her he just could never say it to her, the one thing she asked for and he couldn't do it till it was to late.

**  
I sure had a good time  
But we both know I can't stay  
To think I used to love you but I'm leaving anyway**

But he didn't leave she did, and she'll never come back to him now

**You know I'm not perfect  
And I tried to make you see  
Somehow you though of everything  
But you didn't think about me**

So many things wrong with me he thought, My leg, my drinking, my drugging, my personality. Well let's face it my whole being, but she wanted me anyway

**  
****Lies and disappointment  
Makes your world go round  
It's to late save me so you might as well come down**

Pouring another glass, House lets the lyrics wash over him and thoughts of how she truly didn't love him but he was to stubborn stupid to see it, convinced she would move on once she'd had enough

**To think I used to love you  
For reasons I don't know  
You polished up my halo  
And I dirtied up your soul  
I sure had a good time  
But we both know I can't stay  
To think I used to love you but I'm leaving anyway  
**

Things were great for awhile till he started to get paranoid about all the little things, her smiling at the new male doctor in the ER, her working overtime trying to get money saved but him thinking she was using it to get away from him, being late coming over after work and him convinced she was with someone else and the more she objected and explained the more paranoid and sure of accusations he got till it all exploded, right here in this room tonight when she came over late looking freshly showered

He accused her of showering to wash the smell of another man off her skin, she told him it was a bus load of kids with food poisoning and she had been puked all over. But he was so sure he wouldn't listen and called her a whore saying she was no better that Stacey which had been the last straw

**To think I used to love you  
For reasons I don't know  
You polished up my halo  
And I dirtied up your soul**

He stood in the doorway while she packed her things in to bag, not stopping her, not saying a word just watching as she removed him from her life, like he always new she would. He watched her leave door slamming behind her.

And now here he sits, halfway to drunk, thigh screaming in pain and his head full of regret and hateful words

**I sure had a good time  
But we both know I can't stay  
To think I used to love you but I'm leaving anyway**

He looks up to the doorway and there she stands bag in hand telling him that if she left then she really would be no better than Stacey but if he ever accuses her of cheating again the she really will leave him

As he pulls her onto the couch and into his arms he realizes that it will never be any better than this and that He belongs to her and her to him. His lover, his best friend, his duckling,

**His Cameron**

**This is my first House fic so tell me what you think, please**


End file.
